is there a way to ask a guy "why don't you like me" without actually phrasing it in such a sad, desperate way? As I posted below I (unknowingly) fell for a married guy this summer. Oh silly me. The only man in at least eight months to take the time to get to know me before trying to have sex with me. Why wouldn't I fall for someone who seemed to like me? Before him I've been dating with no recent success. Guys are all over me, want to have sex, want a fb, sure. No one's actually wanting to get to know me, talk to me, hang out, anything. I get two am texts for booty s which I may have responded to in the past but I'm now ignoring. I never get an offer to hang out or have lunch or see a movie or anything normal. I want to find someone like the married guy, who at least pretended to be into me, to be interested, only I want it to be real this time and not fake. How can I ask the other guys what I'm doing wrong or what about me is not worth getting to know?

If u must ask such question, he does not like u!

There's no need to ask that question. You simply have to watch his behavior to see whether he likes you for more than a sex partner, or not. If the answer is not, walk away (if he doesn't walk first on realizing you won't go to bed with him). If he seems to like you generally, watch his behavior for consistency, sense of ethics, kindness, etc, and be prepared to walk if he does not continue to display the traits you need in a man. Now, if every guy you meet is only after the booty, you need to inquire what you're doing that might be unwittingly contributing to that. How old are you, and how old are the guys you attract? (Guys in their teens and early twenties tend to be horndogs, though there are exceptions and older horndogs too.) How do you dress--provocatively, conservatively, or somewhere in between? And where do you characteristiy meet them--in bars, at work, or what?

Ask your friends what you are doing wrong.

How about not needing to ask? Dont sleep with the guy you are dating in the first place. Seriously. If he is not getting laid, and that is his main focus, he will not want to be around you because he is not getting what he wants. Now, if he wants to get to know you, and have a relationship with you, then he will stick around. Simply tell a guy you are interested in that you are through playing games. You want a relationship and are willing to work for one. Hence the celibacy kick. But as for asking a guy "why dont you like me?" That is giving power to them over you. It should be "Why DONT you like me? I have so much to offer you, and if you are too stupid to see that, then you arent worth my time." (Feel free to use the "talk to the hand" manuever to feel all 90s')

I can tell you that you are not doing anything wrong (now that you have stop responding to the booty s). Just keep setting the standards to your liking. In the meantime just go about filling your life with the things that make you happy. The thing that attracts men is a smiling happy personality. NEVER go to bed with a man before the 90 day mark. I find that most men just looking for a quick play loose interest in 3 months, others stick around after the 90 days. Of course you don't ask any man "why don't you like me" or anything similar.

about that x day rule three months' wait will eliminate a lot of the most impatient ones, but not a player who's banging other women--and it may be long enough to alienate some good candidates. better to watch the guy's behavior carefully than to stick to some arbitrary number of days or dates.

I would say, in her case... since she's not so much worried about having sex with the guys, as much as she is pissed that they want nothing BUT sex from her, that as opposed to imposing some sort of arbitrary sex-deadline (x dates, one month, x days, or waiting until marriage), that she simply NOT SLEEP with somebody who doesn't take her seriously, and seem to want to spend some time with her.

That other guy only stuck around x months because, um, he was married and had a wife and child. He didn't need to try and get into your pants because he had someone at home who he probably was having regular sex with. And I don't doubt with how he acted that you were the only one he was having an affair with. Maybe other guys will start treating you with respect when you start treating yourself with respect. I.E. not being obsessed with a man who used you, lied to you, and lead you on. When you start to believe that the actual best person for you is someone who treats you well because they care for you and is honest, and not someone who treated you well just because they wanted to get into your pants, is the point when other guys will like you for more than just a fuck buddy.