Suddenly, there's a knock on the door Well now, who could that be? I say "Who is it?" No answer "Who is it?" There's no answer "WHO IS IT?!" They're not sayin' anything So, finally I go over and I open the door and just as I suspected It's some big fat hermaphrodite with a Flock-Of-Seagulls haircut and only one nostril (Oh man, I hate it when I'm right) So anyway, he bursts into my room and he grabs my lucky snorkel And I'm like "Hey, you can't have that" "That snorkel's been just like a snorkel to me" And he's like "Tough" And I'm like "Give it" And he's like "Make me" And I'm like "'Kay"

So I got in my car and I drove over to the donut shop And I walked on up to the guy behind the counter And he says "Yeah, what do ya want?" I said "You got any glazed donuts?" He said "Nah, we're outta glazed donuts" I said "Well, you got any jelly donuts?" He said "Nah, we're outta jelly donuts" I said "You got any Bavarian cream-filled donuts?" He said "Nah, we're outta Bavarian cream-filled donuts" I said "You got any cinnamon rolls?" He said "Nah, we're outta cinnamon rolls" I said "You got any apple fritters?" He said "Nah, we're outta apple fritters" I said "You got any bear claws?" He said "Wait a minute, I'll go check" "NAH, we're outta bear claws" I said "Well, in that case - in that case, what do you have?" He says "All I got right now is this box of one dozen starving, crazed weasels" I said "OK, I'll take that" So he hands me the box and I open up the lid and the weasels jump out And they immediately latch onto my face and start bitin' me all over Oh man, they were just going nuts They were tearin' me apart

Aaaaaaaalbequerque

Anyway, um, um, where was I? Kinda lost my train of thought Uh, well, uh, OK Anyway I, I know it's kind of a roundabout way of saying it But I guess the whole point I'm tryin' to make here is I HATE SAUERKRAUT!

Anyway, things really started lookin' up for me Because about a week later, I finally achieved my lifelong dream That's right, I got me a part-time job at the Sizzler I even made employee of the month after I put out that grease fire with my face Aw yeah, everybody was pretty jealous of me after that I was gettin' a lot of attitude OK, like one time, I was out in the parking lot Tryin' to remove my excess earwax with a golf pencil When I see this guy Marty tryin' to carry a big ol' sofa up the stairs all by himself So I, I say to him, I say "Hey, you want me to help you with that?" And Marty, he just rolls his eyes and goes "Noooo, I want you to cut off my arms and legs with a chainsaw" So I did. And then he gets all indignant on me He's like "Hey man, I was just being sarcastic" Well, that's just great How was I supposed to know that? I'm not a mind reader for cryin' out loud Besides, now he's got a really cute nickname - Torso-Boy So what's he complaining about?

You've gotta be the dumbest newbie Ive ever seen You've got white-out all over your screen You think your Commodore 64 is really neato What kinda chip you got in there, a Dorito? You're usin' a 286? Don't make me laugh Your Windows boots up in what, a day and a half? You could back up your whole hard drive on a floppy diskette You're the biggest joke on the Internet Your database is a disaster You're waxin' your modem, tryin' to make it go faster Hey fella, I bet you're still livin' in your parents' cellar Downloadin' pictures of Sarah Michelle Gellar And postin' "Me too!" like some brain-dead AOL-er I should do the world a favor and cap you like Old Yeller You're just about as useless as jpegs to Helen Keller

^has no idea what's going on

i dont lol but its all amusing

it's not amusing you're just flirting with mynameistrouble it's obvious and pathetic

don't be jellis. it's hard not to flirt with me

no im not jerkface! i see you!

youre grey....... nuff said

actually no

actually, I think it does. it comes off lighthearted and all whatever

makes her seem cheap and easy

I don't think so. she's one of the least easy people here. just here for laughs, won't tolerate anyone trying to get with her.