Bi......worried about dating........need advice I'm bi male 45. I would really like to meet a nice woman for long term dating, but I really get nervous about meeting women. I've had two really long term relationships with women. But they knew up front that I was bi and it was cool. But getting back into the scene is really scarey cuz' I think that's one of the first things a woman checks a guy out for and it makes me nervous cuz' I think I'm on the effeminate side. I'm not sure. I mean some people notice right away(I know cuz' someone tells me they commented something or for however I hear what they think) but then again it's like just last week a customer at my job was trying to fix me up with her girlfriend. I guess some people think/yes, some /no, some/maybe kinda' situation. The issue for me is that I get really self conscious in potential meet up situations that they might gauge me that way. I mean I would prefer to be honest right up-front. I don't feel that I should try to hide anything. But all my close friends say oh, no, never, absolutely NEVER tell a potential she that you're that way until and then not until you're absolutely 100 percent sure that you could be certain that she'd feel comfortable to relate that information to her. I do live in OHio and I must admit that I get the impression here that the big thing to say is that a guy is gay. Versus the west coast where I feel like people could really care less. Anyway, well this issue makes me feel really uncomfortable because if I feel like the woman can't feel complete comfort with me, and my sexual orientation is definately an important factor, then I can't feel comfortable with her either. I mean I wouldn't want to or even begin to like rub it in her face. I'm a very committed individual and if you're a fellow I'm with you all the way and likewise with woman. Then, there's the issue that I worry that women don't find me attractive. I mean I know men do. I get lots of compliments and offers in gay arenas, but since I'm so reserved about going to hetrosexual oriented places to meet women that's a big issue. For example I tried going to this really popular church that is in my local area and almost right off the start someone started saying that I was gay. It is a small community that I live in but still this is the type of hype that I have to deal with sometimes. I'm really frustrated and in a lot of emotional pain

the rest......... I deeply want to be in love and share my life with that someone special. I've even thought about going to a lifestyle coach, but I really can't afford $100 whatever dollars an hour to delve into the issue. I've even done online dating sites, quite a few popular ones where that way I could feel at least up front no effeminity could be detected, but on that issue I get like almost no responses and the ones I do get are from, I mean I'm not trying to be rude, but women I just don't find attractive. I know lookwise what I can get from a guy and am comfortable with that, but don't get the same degree of response from that genre in regards to women. So that goes back to I don't think women might find me as appealing. So I have a few different issues that I would like any helpul advice. Thanks so much.

Aaaack! Honestly, if I tried to read that enormous run-on thought, my eyeballs would fall on their swords. And I didn't even know they had swords.

boo fuckin hooo

¶ helps a lot, that is hard to read but I got through it. Unlike sally sissy pants above me. So how important is this to you? How important is Ohio to you? I am not saying a change in venue will make your issues go away, but maybe a fresh start in a friendly city might make it easier? The rest of it is classic you vs. the world stuff. Whereas on the west coast we all pretty much go: eh, whatever. I can see how in Ohio it could be more serious, as much as I wish it wasn't. It will be your choice, an uncomfortable life hiding and deciding when to share out of fear that people will talk or a confident man flipping the bird and saying who cares who I love, I am still a great person. I vote for the bird.

Google image result... ...for "Sally Sissy Pants" Yup, looks like stlcap! *runs away*

You skipped to third that showed up?! Number two was way more me:

I'm sorry You must be more bored than I am.

It's not like everybody has instant access to a dual purpose gourd phone/bong... And yes, I am more bored. I am in complete work avoidance mode at the moment. And truth be told, I would like to see your sally sissy pants in a wad on the floor.

AHHH WRONG I live in Ohio, there is no such difference. Friendly state?? You have gays, straights, bi's in every state! Moving? Not good advice to give someone just because they are scared to come out cause of the location they live in?? The only ones who really know anything about you in your state is the folks you hang with, unless you plan putting up a billboard that says "HEY I LIVE IN THIS STATE AND I AM BI!" with a big picture of your smiling ass on it!!???

ohio makes no difference Does not matter if you are gay or bi in the west or east coast. I have been bi for years and I live here and I do not see a difference from people's reactions to my sexuality here or when i visit my friends in California. My sister is full blown gay and she does not get slack for it either. I think its just people not the location that have a problem with their own sexuality that makes them uncomfortable with the idea of being gay or bi.