not sure if this posted before ok so i make tentative plans with a "friend". i then get alternate plan offers that i honestly prefer,tell "friend" this (she has blown me off numerous times in similar circumstance). she gets all bitchy mad YOU HAD PLANS WITH ME AND YOU BETTER KEEP THEM. because of this and out of loyalty and consideration for "friend" i decide to go and hang at her house as planned. turns out this sleeze was only concerned that i be there long enough for her sleezo booty to finish whatever the eff he was doing (probably enjoying some othercompany) and come over. leaving me to awkwardly and super irritably exit. well actually she only got a text from this guy (who really irks me for sooo many reasons) and said she didn't knoooow if she was going to hang out with him but what is my problem. my problem is i really care about her and he sucks. is it my bad being flaky with the plans or is she just a total toxic individual? why couldnt i have gone about my business for the night if she planned to hang with him anyway. i'm pretty sure she knows i have feelings for her...

basiy i had plans with her i asked if i could go and do something else. she got mad and said i had better hang out with her. so we hung out for acouple hours and she gets this text from this guy that she has been talking to and has dated. a guy who has supposedly caused her all this hurt and is only around when he wants to hit it. i got all mad and accused her of "whoring around" and left. not exactly sure if he cameover or not but the whole idea of it is sickening. was she getting me back for trying to bail on plans earlier or do we have bigger problems?

Bigger problems either way If she was "getting back at you," you have problems. If she thinks it's okay for her to bail on plans with you there but not okay for you to bail on plans, you have problems. Either way, sounds like a one-way friendship.

and why didn't she let me go on my merry way this time and/or a long time ago. i m not totally pathetic and desperate. i do need to move on but i almost feel like she doesnt want me to or wont let me?

I don't know I'm not a shrink. Some people get off on those sorts of relationships. Maybe it makes her feel good to have someone following her around even if she treats them like ass. Heck, maybe it makes *you* feel good. I don't know either of you, so I can't say. But just from the little description you gave, it sounds kinda messed up, ya know? Anyway. She might not want you to move on. But won't let you? She does not control you. You control you. You have to make your own decisions, and if you want to walk away, then that is certainly within your power.

If you feel that the relationship is toxic, then you should leave it

Why should she let you go You are so easy to manipluate. I do not say that to be rude, I say it becuse I recognize myself in your actions. You need to distance yourself, you truly care about her, that will be hard, but your feelings and sanity are worth more then a toxic friendship.

Actually, I recommend that you seek advice from lichens. Since she ssems to be the end all be all of advice. But she also avises her friends to this site, whether she likes it or not. Since she is so damn all KNOWING I advise that you ask her.

lichens? who is that?

what, not who. lichens is a fungus.