advice please? i've been dating a guy for almost 5 months. after a few dates and everything going well, there was just this understanding between us that we wouldn't see or sleep with others bc it wasn't really our thing. we've both trusted each other and stayed comittment for that time without ever having the "boyfriend/girlfriend" talk. less than a month ago, i noticed he was distancing himself. we spoke..a few weeks after that he brought he to meet his parents but things still felt strange. i admit i was immature and while using his computer read an e-mail to his friend where he says he cares about me, etc, etc but isn't exactly sure of his feelings. i broke up with him and just told him that i sense things were strange and that i felt he wasn't that into me. he talked and said he wasn't sure of what he wanted. i walked away for days ago and he been trying to talk, told me he wanted to see me when i got back from vacation in a week..that he just needed to think about a few things. i know he cares, he has done some amazing things for me but at the same time i don't know if i can be with someone who doesn't know if they want to be with me a few weeks from now. i'm not talking months or years, but just someone who is unsure. do i give him a chance and see if something more develops between us?

t l d r

Leave him alone. Let his good luck continue.

how old are you guys?

we're both 25 but... what does that have to do with it? i guess it explains his indecisiveness i guess. i feel like i finally figured out i'm not going to wait around for guys and just walked away but he's upset and seems like he may want to give things a chance so i'm confused.

So you guys haven't had the talk which basiy mean neither of you has expressed how much you feel towards one another right? and thats why you broke it off, due to the distance you feel?

yeah i mean we have kind of talked.. and he had said that he didn't know if we had the chemistry for a long term relationship. so that hurt me and i prepared to break up with him, but then he brought me home to meet his parents so i thought ok i see he is trying. but then i felt he was being distant after we got back and a week later read the e-mail from a few weeks before and the distance made sense. that's why i decided to end it.

i was completely prepared to move on..but he told me he needs time to think things through and when i saw him to give him back things at my apartment he said that he didn't want that to be the last time we saw each other and spoke about this.

sounds like you both need to talk but only you know how you feel about him. If your like me you won't put it all out there until he does too so I can understand why you haven't had the talk yet. so in all honesty..if you actually care about him you need to tell him this...especially after meeting his folks. Thats HUGE!! girl, if you pull back so will he! If you jump in, he's could just be waiting for you. seeing he telling you he wants to "think about it" (getting his stuff if huge) you might just ask him the simple question. "do you love me?"

whats your problem ? cant you understand he needs to think about some stuff? I know that feeling.

i don't have a problem...i'm asking whether it makes sense for me to stick around. i have no interest in ing him or forcing him to be with me. i've been there, done that before and it's a mistake. i just wanted people's advice on whether he is even worth it if he needs to "think things through"

Let me be more serious he told you directly that he was unsure about a long term relationship and, in an email, he basiy said the same thing to someone else. So, to stop him from thinking anymore you broke up. Did you intend that as an ultimatum? Maybe indirectly? If so, I have an idea that it will not work out well for a long term relationship. From his point of view, you confirmed his suspicions. I don't think there is a good way back from such a situation. I am sorry. But, maybe it's for the best.