Can compassion actually backfire on you? I'm 22 years old. Sure, I married young and now we're divorcing. Typical, right? Nothing about our relationship was typical. We were together for 5 years this month, married two years ago. We've been celibate for the past three. We had our ups and downs, but we were real. We promoted our relationship, rather than controlling (destroying). Our relationship was WITHOUT overlays of power. There was no chain-of-command, no concept of final authority. It was a TRUE relationship. In Sept. of 2008, he had his first "psychotic break" and was involuntarily institutionalized and diagnosed with schizophrenia. He tried to kill me during his episode and he also "date raped" me one night...just a smidgen of the many things he did in a 3-day period before he was committed. He has since been released (in December) and has been deemed "ready to go back to work, return to 'normal' life, blah blah blah". Everything (for me) was completely destroyed. Our entire relationship fell to pieces. I tried to take care of him, be there for him; truly, I did. Hate burned me. Then it stopped. Now I just feel so sorry for him, and I try to help him. We don't live together anymore and I want a divorce. He doesn't. He's a different person now, tries to force himself on me when I come around, incredibly mean, etc. I want to be his friend but want nothing else to do with him beyond. Basiy I'm just pissed. Final authority DID come into play. It reared it's ugly head in the form of an attitude problem turned excuse because of a mental illness. It's all about power for him now. What I fail to see is how people even see or experience relationships apart from power? Were we seduced or was it intentional all along? If we truly learned to regard each other's concerns as significant as our own there would be no need for hierarchy. I'm not into the literal support-group dynamic. It's great for some people but it's not my thing. I'm sorry if this isn't the correct forum for my post. This is my first time posting and I suppose I just wanted to vent.

Listen young one. I hope you have gone back and re-read your post a couple of times. Do you see the stupid things you've done? Give yourself a break though. People do stupid things for what they think is love. Break off all contact with this fool. I would probably take out an RO on him. I would try to put at least 6 states between us. Get out and stay out before we read your obit.

Hey Bear. how you doing this evening?

Perhaps I'm an idealist but I'm not delusional. "People do stupid things for what they think is love." -- I haven't done anything but stick around maybe a bit longer than necessary. It's ed compassion. You know, helping someone when they have no one at all. I appreciate and want the opinions truly, but please don't address me in a condescending manner. I'm not an idiot.

Even 1 minute is tooooooooooo long. Get out now.

No ones said you were an idiot... however, by reading your saying, YOU ARE DEFINITELY AN IDIOT!!!!so, don't give that compassions, mumbo jumbo BS.